My Own Time

My younger years were filled with turmoil, a lot of unrealized expectations, and lost opportunities. I am not ashamed of those years. Those years forged me in steel and gave me great resolve. I would not be who I am without living the life of turmoil I did in my youth, most of which wasn't attributable to me. It was all about the circumstances of life.

I hated school, but for a long time I tried to play by the rules and fit in, but I just didn't. I've always spent a lot of time in solitude, because I was the only son with very few immediate relatives and only a handful of friends. I have never been that gregarious individual who jumped in and took over a party and I never really cared to be that type of person. Those people always seemed to be so contrived.

When I was 15 and 16 years old, I went through some of the hardest personal times of my life, because my immediate family situation blew up. I came back to live in Hickory with my grandmother after living in Conover for 4 years. I was in No Mans Land, because of the circumstances. I didn't live where I went to High School and I really didn't associate with many people from High School until a group of us ended up taking a two year experiment at Lees-McRae College in Banner Elk. That's a story in and of itself. During all of this time, I didn't focus on studies. I just did whatever I felt like doing, but none of it could be labeled as the deeds of a miscreant. More like the deeds of a loner.

Those years are etched on my mind this evening. I'm sitting here listening to Asia. Their initial self titled album is what they were remembered for. Four members of various progressive mega-bands brought together to form one band. At the time they were known to be the pioneer SuperGroup of that era.

I have listened to Asia ever since they were initially formed through their various lineups and phases. Every album they put out stands out. Most people only remember the initial group and younger generations don't even remember Wetton, Downes, Howe, and Palmer. To me this is some of the greatest Progressive Rock Pop ever. I love Pink Floyd and the stories they tell and their later albums always hold a special place with me, but Asia's stories and sound are very emotional and tell a great story that everyone can relate to.

In the time that I experienced the latter part of my tumultuous youth, the album Alpha was released in 1983 and hit close to home and was my favorite album. It is based upon the paradoxes of love, hope, faith, honesty, dishonesty, abandonment, jealousy, perseverance, betrayal, honor, loyalty, and being the underdog. You might not believe me, but maybe you should give the album a listen and then you will understand.

From that Album, the song titled "My Own Time" is my personal anthem. When I get low, I can always go back and give this a listen and center myself around its message. There are times when you are going to be all you've got and as long as you believe in yourself, then things will be fine. Most of the time things aren't going to work out or go the way that you want them to. We live in a world full of insanity and you cannot center yourself within the craziness. You have to think that jerks and sellouts can all go to hell. You don't have to conform to anyone's rules as long as you are centered within truth, honor, honesty, and loyalty.

It is a lot easier being honest. It is a lot easier keeping up with the truth. Liars always are figured out in the end. Liars can't keep up with their lies and given enough time the truth will always shine through. And then justice will be served, but that justice will not always provide solace, because life doesn't last forever and time is fleeting. But, if you can find peace within yourself and have faith, then time is truly on your side, because the insanity does not control you. Remember, you can always control the insanity by not participating in it.

And without further ado, I present My Anthem, My Own Time: