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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

6 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away

Hound Notes: Below is a link to a very good article that describes an epidemic of bad behavior amongst today's professional workforce. In my opinion it certainly describes behavior associated with the politicians and other leaders of the current generation. I believe that the mindset of many of our leaders today is having a deleterious effect and is a reason for the bad behavior of the workforce in general; It rolls downhill folks. 

I have dealt with some of these issues myself, we all do, but I have this site as my therapeutic form of expression. People can choose to be victims or they can be forces for action. Be empathetic, but don't allow others to define who you are or the action you choose to take... Be yourself.

I will provide the bullet points of what Ms. Caprino is describing, but essentially what she is describing can be defined, at a minimum, as a personality issue and carried through to an extreme can be defined as a form of Sociopathy.

6 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away: How To Recognize Them In Yourself and Change Them - LinkedIn - Kathy Caprino - June 20, 2014 -

1) Taking everything personally
- People are toxic to be around when they believe that everything that happens in life is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them. The reality is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their filters, and their perspectives, wounds and experiences.

2) Obsessing about negative thoughts - Pessimism is one thing – but remaining perpetually locked in negative thoughts is another. Only seeing the negative, and operating from a view that everything is negative and against you, is a skewed way of thinking and living, and you can change that.

3) Treating yourself like a victim - Believing you’re a victim, that you have no power to exert and no influence on the direction of your life, is a toxic stance that keeps you stuck and small.

4) Cruelty - lacking in empathy or putting yourself in others shoes - One of the most toxic and damaging behaviors – cruelty – stems from a total lack of empathy, concern or compassion for others... Cruelty, backstabbing, and ripping someone to shreds is toxic, and it hurts you as well as your target.

5)  Excessive reactivity - An inability to manage your emotions is toxic to everyone around you. We all know these people – men and women who explode over the smallest hiccup or problem.

6) Needing constant validation - Finally, people who constantly strive for validation and self-esteem by obsessing about achieving outward measures of success, are exhausting to be around... Overly-attaching to how things have to look and be, and to achieving certain milestones and accomplishments rather than going with life in a more flexible, easy manner, can wear you out and bring everyone else around you down .


wandaarnold1716 said...

I saw the article in HDR about the teacher who received the award for teaching and modeling good manners for her pupils. I can't recall the details, but I'm certain this would be a good thing for our youngsters to learn as it doesn't seem to be emphasized by parents any more.

If we could control our own curriculum, I would start manners in kindergarten and continue through on each grade level.

James Thomas Shell said...

Wanda, I've always said that etiquette should be taught in school. My grandfather instilled yes ma'am, no, ma'am, yes sir, no sir in me. You're welcome and holding doors for others was always expected.

Of course, he brought me up with a somewhat military regimen and I was expected to go into the military, if I hadn't had trouble with hearing issues.

People around here are especially devoid of chivalry. It displays a lack of mutual respect. It's pretty nasty and it isn't just poor people. People need to know how to act in public and I'm not talking about some kind of fake one-sided authoritative decorum. You get what you give.